living on the edge

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Living On The Edge

​I live on the edge. I really do.

​My future is entirely uncertain. I just don't know anything. Am I going to be a doctor? No, I am not.

I don't know.​ My mind is like an idiot's: empty. I do not know.

​I have nothing and no one to cling to, so I cling to not knowing anything at all.

​My entire future is covered in uncertainty. There is no certainty of anything. When you follow your own path, no one is promising there will be anything at the end of the line. 

But that's ok, because in reality, all paths lead nowhere. ​

When you follow a career path or study in a school, you have a path that is laid out for you. You are being guided by external forces. 

When you go to a university, they allow you to become a doctor. When you become a doctor, you know what your life is going to be. You know what work you are going to do and in what kind of a facility.

The certainty that you accept is actually accepting a life of no freedom.​ The more certainty you have in your path, the more boundaries and limitations you do accept for yourself from everyone else.

How much you are going to make, where you are going to work and what you are going to do, are almost all set in stone. ​

You can be a 50 years old major working in your country's military or a senior physician in a hospital, and still have no real freedom.

You can have all the titles, but deep down you know you aren't truly free because someone else is writing your paycheck.

You gain comfort from having fancy titles without realizing that they are nothing but language and made up bullshit.

Your opinions, decisions and actions come from a place where you are thinking of what is allowed in the eyes of the employer.

Maybe the conventional path is for you, but there are people who rather risk their lives every day to feel more alive and live freely.

Follow the path of certainty, and you give up a great portion of your personal freedom.

The reality is there is no real freedom in certainty.

True freedom is not-knowing and still having the guts to live. Freedom is having no idea about the future, but still being confident to handle it.

Certainty by definition, is nothing but shackles and ropes, and even they can be taken away when you least expect it.

Nothing is more frightening for an ordinary man than to be completely responsible for oneself. To actually live without anyone looking out for you.

I live life alone and willingly face the uncertainty of the abstract future.

Any day, I could fall off the edge and fail.

This is true freedom.

Freedom is taking risks and having faith everything will be alright.

The reality is it won't always be alright.

Just the thing is, you don't go out there to lose, you go out there to win, and disregard entirely the possibility of losing.

Everyone who goes out there to win, will ​tolerate absolute uncertainty, but have absolute faith in themselves.

The winners accepted the external conditions with 100% uncertainty, because they had 100% certainty in themselves. 

The past heroes who went to war were heading towards the absolute uncertainty: death.

Nowadays, you won't be losing any arms or legs, but facing uncertainty in business will still feel like you are fighting for your life.  ​

You have no choice but to fight because everyone who "made it", took a risk for it.​

I know a lot about taking risks. First and foremost, if there is no risk, the entire thing has very little value for me.

My friend and mentor Victor Pride introduced me to MMA betting in the early 2015.

At best, I have won $1200, and at worst, I've lost $800. ​My absolutely amazing realization has been...

- Winning feels amazing. Losing feels horrible. 

That's the reality you need to accept in order to have real fun in this life. 

If I didn't have anything to lose, I would care less about the fights. The risk of losing it all makes the entire thing worth it. The fact that you can die, makes life worth it.

Play the game ahead

Taking risks is actually playing the game ahead. You make moves because you believe they will produce certain outcomes.

I'm playing the game decades ahead. My vision, although abstract, goes past my own time on Earth.

That's what it means to be ahead of your time - to live completely now, but to make decisions based on the abstract future that is far ahead.

When you play the game ahead, your decisions don't come from worrying about tomorrow. They come from a deeper place, where today and tomorrow are only small pieces of the puzzle.

Most people aren't thinking ahead at all. They play checkers. They live for today, and at best they live for tomorrow.

Most people live on autopilot and give their souls to someone else to be taken care of. To someone or something which aren't even real like institutions.​

If you want to be the best player, you have to play chess. The more steps you play ahead of everyone else, the better the game will unfold for you.

Taking care of yourself or building skills and knowledge are not for this moment, they are for the future.​

I used to live like everyone else. I was living the same day over and over again. Life was just routines of comfort and mindless entertainment produced by someone else.

Now?

Every day feels like a lifetime.

​The uncertainty can kill a small man, but for many of us, it will only make us more alive. 

I wish you all the best,​

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October 9, 2015